******* CONTANT IN POST MAY OFFEND PEOPLE, IF IT DOES I AM SORRY, BUT IT HAD TO BE SAID!******


I wake up at 5:30 to my alarm, which is Captain Jacks Theme, I jump out of bed and get dressed sort the dogs out and stuff, sit down, and just look at my Touch and add Torchwood video to my Touch from the iTunes store.   Had a text from Kath, and minutes later was on our way to Cardiff at like 6:05 in the morning, yep that early!

We got to the car park in Cardiff Bay, parked there, and walked to HMV, saw a few fans waiting, and we spoke for abit, debating wheater to start the queue or not, so when one girl Cathrine started the queue me and Kath got up and went besides Cathrine, then Jon and Dani came along and we all got chatting, I went and grabbed a coffee in memory of Ianto... On my return Kath and Dani went off to the bay, to drop Dani's car off.  We (Cathrine, Myself and Jon) sat on the floor, just talking, well the talk was abit erm.....  funny, we spoke about Torchwood being a stripper (though I dont remember the whole convosation), then a couple behind us, desides to toss a coin to decide if to stay in the queue or not, they ended up leaving!  HMV then came out of the shop and made a box, people tried to get in front of us, but the nice man said something like 'let these though, they were here first', so we made our box an exclusive box, which I named Free Cake Exclusive Box (more about Free Cake later on), so we all whos in the box gets chatting, and as soon as Kath and Dani came back, we got to know each others name, but I only remember another persons name and thats Amiee, I cant remember the lady's name or the boy and his girlfriends, I am sorry!! Caron then also came to join us.

So this is the time all these nice strange people walk up so....  we had about 5 people within half an hour ''whats going on?'' ''Torchwood DVD Signing'', ''whats Torchwood''....  Some of the answers youd have to be careful not to laugh, so by 10, Jon said ''we say free cake'', so we did at one point, was really funny.... ''Whats going on here''.... ''Torchwood DVD Signing, you get free cake''....  Then whenever we said ''John Barrowman'' the reaction from some wasnt nice....  So in the end I just said ''John Barrowman, GDL, and Eve Myles''.

Then one person came up and said '' is a Michael Jackson event happing here cause of the way your dressed?'' well, the FCEB (Free Cake Exclusive Box) were in fits of laughter, so I said 'No, its a Torchwood signing!', then we had 'Is this something to do with Harry Potter?'', 'no Torchwood''....  Then crazy woman came up and started talking ''OMG JOHN BARROWMANS GOING TO BE HERE, I LOVE HIM'' she was a nutter..... lol!!  Then creepyman came and tried to chat us up (3 of us girls), was really frightening....

Ooh we even had someone say ''You shouldnt wership Torchwood, you should be wershipping god''....  I am sorry wtf??  take it else where....  We even had two people walk around trying to give us leaflets about god....  I didnt really want to know and its not really the place to preach....

Anyways, a few more people come and ask whats going on, and I told them....  I even met a few people for the first time though I have had them added on Facebook for a while....  So hi Lauren, and hi Ty and Hi Nem and hi to everyone else I have forgetten).

The guards then came and made sure we knew what was happening!

Come 16:45 they let 60 in the shop....  They had Michael Jackson videos on, and then they stoped and started to play Torchwood music, was well pleased to hear Torchwood music in HMV, HMV of all places.... (Yes its a Torchwood DVD Signing, but the music, was just like......), they gaurds then made sure everyone that wasnt in the queue stayed back....

Then they came just after 5, they were here, John Barrowman, GDL and Eve Myles....  It was abit rushed, so I didnt say anything, just smiled....

We (Caron, Kath, Cathrine, Dani, Jon - if I have forgetton anyone then sorry) all managed to get together and go around the back, and we waited, and waited and we saw them, took a few pictures and let them drive off.....  People chased after the cars, which I thought was wrong, but there we are.... 

Anyways, sorry its not what people thought it might be, but to me, it was one of the most awesome days ever, its up there with Hub 1/2, Birmingham trip in Nov/Jan, and also Sept last year!

I am glad I met new people and I think thats what its all about too, meeting new people, and I want to thank you all, in the FCEB, that it was awesome to spend 10 hours (I think) with you people, and you know what it was great fun :). <input ... ><input ... >


EDITED TO ADD:- http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=132141&id=634438676&l=dacfffde4a 
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I want to write something to try and help out others...... I cant say what about here, as its abit personal....  

Though were would I start, I've been thinking about that statement from Torchwood, The End Is Where We Start From, do I start from the end, and make my way to the beginning, to I start from the start or from the middle..... 

Any tips where to start from?

Basically its about my crappy teenage life, and I want to try and get it written maybe to help others, going through what I did.

Thanks in advance!

So, I am abit bored, and alone.  Desided to type some random pants here!  Sheff Utd won, which ment they go second in the Championship table :(, Blues are 3rd....  So its a must win tomorrow!

I'm an admin on a fourm, a PSP one, which makes themes, even for the iPod Touch and iPhone....  We are a friendly bunch of people, mainly a bunch of us post, we have

The Theme Factory, where PSP, PS3 and iPod Touch/iPhone themes are made

Sony Center where you can talk about PSPs and PS3s

Apple Center where you can talk about iPod Touches/iPhone (maybe the Mac as well)

The Media Center where you can talk about Films/TV Programmes, Music, Games (which should be added soon) and Off The Topic Disscussion....  Also we have a Gave Yard thing to post old stuff that is important that people can easiler grab there hands on :)

Link is here:- pspxmb.condor.serverpro3.com/index.php

But to look, youll have to sign up sorry, you can only view the rules, but we are looking to open the forum some more.... Its just that if we open the theme area, people will just take the theme and not thank you or nowt and alot goes into making the themes....

So yeah!!!  I am watching Eastenders now, and will be waiting nicely for 9PM to come, so I can watch Red Drawf!

• The Finland fans singing in Finnish, that was just awesome.....  I'd love to hear it again.
• The fact that 1,500+ Finnish fans managed to outsing 20,000+ horn blowing Welsh fans
• I dont think I heard that many Welsh fans sing the National Anthem
• I went to see Miklu and to support him
• Wales were awfully bad (putting it nicely)
• Ballamy's rant towards Johnansoon wasnt needed
• Yes, Finland were the better team, Ballemy you need to understand that....
• Toshack shouldntve played just Ballamy upfront...  There were two defenders that were alot bigger then him, where was the logic, as the high balls he wouldnt be able to get, anyway!
• Realized some of the Finnish team are fit
• Yes this is about Finland mainly
• I might drop Miklu's name in here again somewhere
• The sun got in my eyes at part of the match
• erm....  Miklu XD

I think thats it, the points that I didnt make have been repeated or pointed out here.... 

I can go to sleep now.....  Night x

Friday night, all I could think about was the football and Miklu.  Thats right Miklu, your most probly thinking who is this lad she is speaking off, well, let me tell you, Mikael Forsseell(Miklu) used to play for Birmingham City FC, he played for Hannover 96 now, he is an awesome dude, and I repect him so much, he's been knocked down by injuries, but he's bonced back, he sounds a real nice guy too, with what Elizabeth's been saying, as she has met him loads of times.  Anyway, back to this, before I ramble on about Miklu.  I tries to have an early night, as I like to have my sleep.

I woke up at 7:30am, trying to not think of the day ahead, which I knew wouldve got me excited!  But it was so hard, so I try and catch half an hour sleep, but I was just exicted about what was going to happen.  I get dressed and by the time of 10:30 I was just eger to go, I called my dad and asked him that it was 11 o'clock that we were gonna meet up and he said 'No its 12', so I said 'I thought it was 11, can we meet then?' and he said 'ok then, meet you then!'...  So I meet my dad, while I also had my brother with me...  Got on the bus and as soon as I saw Finnish dudes, I knew I was going to be happy!  I went and gots myself a scarf, and had the hottest Finnish guys behind me, so I looked at this blonde one and thought 'fittness'.... Then we end up for some reason walking around in a circle, and end up outside the Millieunnim Stadium waiting for Elizabeth and her dad....  I took a few pictures and stuff....  Then my dad spots Elizabeth and her dad, we walk towards them and goes into O'Nells, which may I add.....  Was full of Finland fans, only a handful of Welsh fans were in there, or maybe not a handful, but gives you an idea....  Elizabeth and her dad has something to eat, but Elizabeth didnt eat all her food as she was to excited too (I knew how she felt as when I was at the Hub 1/2 I hardly ate anything), we then ate food, and then me, my brother and dad desided to have something from Burger King!

I cant remember much other then wanting to go into the MS....  Once we got there, we went to our seats, and then me and Elizabeth desided to ditch the others (I cant think of a nicer word sorry) and go towards were the Finnish players were training, and to see Miklu was well......  I cant put it into words, but all I can say was emontional, as I was happy, but wanted to cry at the same time, I thought I would never see him play at all, and just to see him train was just an awesome moment....  So me and Elizabeth take some more photos and then a dude came up to us and asked us 'are you sitting there?' and me and Elizabeth went 'no, were not' and he said 'just make sure you move when the band comes off, as thats where they'll be sitting'....  He couldve done worse and sent us back to our seats, but 5 minutes after we left to go back to our proper seats... Then we had some idiots in the front off us chanting 'STAND UP IF YOU HATE THE ENGLISH!'....  What was amusing was, no one stood up in the block we were in only the idoit and his mates....  I said to Elizabeth 'I dunno why they are acting like that, most of the Wales players on that pitch play for an England side, so why chant some crap'...   It was time for the National Anthems....  Finlands first....  Ah....  Miklu on screen too.....  Ah..... Mind you some of the Finland team are fit!  Then it was the Welsh National Anthem, which was sung by Cyres Matthews, and the Wales players came on screen, but my eyes were fixed on the Finland team!!  KICK OFF
*I am sounding so erm....  unwelsh lol*
I dont remember any of the game other then Miklu having a few shots and nothing came of them, I was so wanting him to score.  But he tried his hardest and whenever he had a shot on goal and it was missed, you got to see him on the kinda big screen so all wasnt bad...  Then the 89th minute came, Forssell had the ball kicked to him and he miss kicked it and fell to the floor....  The Welsh fans laughed (even the Welsh team played on, which pissed me off so much, poor Miklu would kick the ball out of play if he saw a player was down injured), I had tears in my eyes and so did Elizabeth, seing someone you idolize injure themself is just the most awful feeling ever, and I was hoping they didnt bring out the stracter or else that wouldve broke my heart...  He got subbed, and you could tell something was wrong, he had a little limp kinda thing....  So on comes S.Kuqi and as Miklu comes off, there is a close up of him on screen, and as Kuqi comes on a close up of 'ewwww'... Anyways,pay back bloody time, and Finland scored!!! HA HA HA!!!!  SHOULDNTVE LEFT MIKLU THERE....  SHOULDVE KICKED THE BALL OUT, BUT NONE OF YOU WELSH PLAYERS HAD IT IN YOU TOO!!!  At least Wayne Hennessay has a heart and checked to see if he was ok!  Yes, Wayne maybe a Wovels player and I may not like him, but I repspect him in that way!

Wales deserved to lose, and Ballamy was so out of order, sorry Welsh fans, but he was.....  You lost the game, deal with it, yeah, you might not get to go to the World Cup Ballamy so bloody what?? Did you see Speed complaing?? I dont think so...  So shut you mouth!!

Ok, rant over....

Anyways we left the staduim, but somehow managed to get split up from my dad and Elizabeth's dad, I saw an old college mate too...  We found the dads, and we all said bye to my dad, and then Elizabeth got abit tired so she and her dad headed off back home to Birmingham...  I get on the number 96 bus,   we passed the Staduim and I started to get all sad and tearful.  I had the best Saturday ever (up there with the conventions), to share it with someone I care about alot, was just awesome.... 

I got home and was just so tired... 

So all in all, my Saturday was awesome....  I miss Elizabeth, and I would love to see Miklu play again, when I dunno, maybe for Birmingham(thats a big ask though) one day, who knows?...  I thank Elizabeth, her dad, my dad, my brother and Miklu for making the weekend just awesome and to Elizabeth, I dont think I couldve shared it with anyone else....  I finally got to see Miklu and you got to see him play again :)....  I know how much that means to you:)

I had my medicals records through yesterday and reading them, I am upset and angry.  I'm upset and angry my mum didnt tell me one thing, but I understand why, but I'd rather it have come from her and not a piece of paper.  I dont want to say what it is, as I dont want to upset most of my mates, I care about them to much to do that, but if they ask, then I am willing to tell.

I didnt realize that doctors (some I should say) stab you in the back, one doctor said in a letter to my GP that I moan/complain about alot of things illness wise, which when I see this certain doctor, I hardly say a word, and then to compare me with other people was just beyond the joke.  I am well and truly pissed off with them.  All this doctor seems to care about is her bloody pay packet.

I also saw something I didnt really want to see and have brought it all back, which I didnt want :'(....  I am trying to get on with my life, so to read what I did in my medical records kinda freaked me out... I yelled 'TAKE IT AWAY MUM, I DONT WANT TO SEE IT, BURN IT, DO SOMETHING WITH IT, I DONT NEED IT, DO SOMETHING, GET RID OF IT'....  I want to let go of the past, but its just put me a few steps back seing that document I saw.

You think oh great I am getting on with my life, dealing with it and then you read something and then you back a few steps....  I realy dont like it when that happens.

The good news is, Wales V Finland on Saturday and I am going to that with my brother, dad, Elizabeth and her dad (whos name I have forgotten, sorry)...  Hopefully Miklu is playing, it would make my year that much better.  I have always been meaning to see Miklu when he played for Birmingham City FC, but at the time I refused to pay the ticket prices...  I really regreat not seing him in a Blues shirt.

213 days til I go away to The Hub 3.... 

I rant about so much, but I'd rather get my anger out this way, then any other way!

I'd go back to 1912, when the Titanic sank, as its intresting to know stuff and I am intrested in it too!

I wrote this late one night, I was fed up of someone thinking the really knew me, when they didnt, it drove me mad when they said 'You've changed' etc, so I wrote You Didn't Really Know Me (At All), cause I was just fed up of it.

You Didnt Really Know Me (At All)
 
I'm fed up of you thinking you knew me,
But you really didn't
 
Believe me when I tell you
You didn't really know me (at all),
Stop pretending you did
You didn't really know me
So why you saying you did
 
Stay away
Just stay away
I don't need you
 
Stay away
Get away
From me x2
 
I may have opened up to you
But that doesn't make you think you know me 
 
Repeat chours
Repeat bit after chours
 
I wish I knew who I was myself, 
I turn to god and ask him out,
 
But....... (woah ho, ho, ho, ho)
You didn't really know me (at all)
 
You fallen down, 
Down to ground,
You fallen down cause you didn't really know me at all.
 
Repeat bit after chours 
Repeat chours  3x
 
You didn't really know me (at all)
So why pretend you did....
 
*Wirh nice guitar and piano melody
 

In my head I have it, how I would want it played, and I am hoping I can learn guitar so I can make music
to it.

My other song, that I am writing today, I havent started it, cause like I have said on Facebook, I am not that angry...  I do have a few lines, well more then a few, but I know it'll all change once I finish all of it...

You know what I want you to do
Get outta my face
And away from me
I want you to just GET LOST... GET LOST...

Too many times I stood up for you
Too many times I thought for you
Too many times I told you too
Too many times I said I loved you
Too many times I cuddled you

Cant you get lost,
Get out of my mind...


I just feeling happy, but trying to write an angry song when your not even happy is just hard...   So there we go... Part of 'Get Lost'.

Anyways, today has been okish, though I am just happy, but I think I am too happy lol...  Been smiling since Monday...

Anyways I have no idea what else to say as my food will be cooked in abit :)!

I dunno myself, I try and be the same on line then I am in real life, but I think my mates/family would have to answer that one for you, as I have no idea! lol

Sunday:-

*I dont remember the talks sorry, but I am sure other people do, so I will write what I remembr of the day!

I woke up a 5 in the morning to help my mum pack a few bits and peices, and also to get ready to make our way downstairs.  I text Chris at 6am, and make our way downstairs, to meet with Ruth, Chris W, Chris C, and Maria.  We wait around two hours to get the tickets!  We managed to get them and between us we are G14-G19 :D, so we are in the same group!

We then head of to breakfast, and chat...  Me, my mum, Wesley, Chris C, and Maria made our way to the hall, I am not sure at where Maria and Chris C went to, so me, my mum, and Wes entered the hall to see Burn, and I am all nervous, I dont say anything as I am nerovus!  Then it was time to see Tom Price, were Rose and Alex were behind me, and my mum..  As we got closer to the table, I notice Matt and said to the attendent 'can I stay here all day and just look at him?'...  It was our time, and this is the convo!

Me:- While you are signing these, I'll look at Matt
Tom:- I'll look at Matt too, look at those hands, holding the Sharpie
*Tom signs my brothers picture 'To Wesley, I love Matt too, Tom'*
My mum:- Have I had a sex change
Tom:- I am sorry..
*Tom signs my mums To Christina, Wesley loves Matt'*
Tom:- I take it while I sign this, you'll look at Matt
I nods, while Tom looks at Matt again and makes the Sharpie comment again, at which point my mind is in a different place...  It got better after I left, but I'll let the other two girls (Alex and Rose) say about that!

I then walks and queues up to the Burn photo shot. waited ages while chatting to the guy who started to queue up to get tickets at 1am.  My turn to see Burn and I ask him could I have a hug, and he said 'go on then' in his Owen voice....  I was so excited.  Then we went to the hall again, got two more autogarpths and then I went to the wall to place a bid on an incounter with Matt :D..

Me, Chris W, Chris C, Maria, Ruth, My mum and Wes headed for the bar to get a drink, we also have food too.  I then nip upstairs to get dressed, and come back down and me, Ruth, Chris W head towards the hall, we get to see Burn and (cant remember chat), and then it was Matt and someone else, then when the dude said my ticket number for the incounter with Matt, Ileft out the biggest 'YES' and then started to run around like a crazy person, cause I am just excited!

Matt walks through the incounter, I looked at his face, and possibly else were...  I said to him 'I'll just look at you, while others ask questions'...  He spoke about the movies he was in, about John and how much he respects him and he even did a rap, which I thought was awesome, and his diffintion of the iPhone/Touch was awesone 'iPhone Thingy, Touch Thingy'...  It didnt seem like 45 minutes, when we had to say goodbye to him again, which kinda sucked, but it was WORTH EVERYBIT OF MY MONEY £25.....

I make my way into the hall with Chris C to see Randy!, which we missed abit off, so I didnt know the plot at all.  I also forgot the other talks after that, other then Burn having to leave early!

At the end of the Closing Ceromoney, we (me, Maria, Chris C, Chris W, Ruth) head off to find my mum and Wes, we have a drink and chat for abit, and then Dean joins us, we all end up going out for a meal.  We came back and I see Rose and Alex, and I hear 'Islands In The Stream' and I squee, (I really love the song sang by Ruth Jones, Rob Brydon, Tom Jones and Robin Gibb), so I make my way (with Alex and Rose and everyone else I was with) into the hall, and then Magic Dance came on, and then Chris C, wnated the group photo because he and Maria was going back to the room, as Chris C needed to do his work! :(...  We have a photos taken and I hearl friendly abuse at Chris C, for making me and Rose miss Magic Dance.  Then I head back into the dance hall with Alex and Rose, while my mum, Dean, Chris W, Wes and Ruth head to the bar.  I stay in the dance hall for abit, we then head off to find the others.  I cant remember much of that night over then Dean making my mum, Ruth and Chris giggle.  I say goodbye to Hazel and Lisa and tells them I see them in Spetember.  I came to saying goodbye to Rose and Alex too, it made me sad saying goodbye, knowing I wont see them at The Hub 3.

Me, Ruth, Chris W and my mum say goodbye to Dean, and then head up to our rooms, said night.


Monday:-

My mum was awake and sorting out the bags, when I woke up at 6am I desided to help out, we packed everything and around 8am we made our way for our final breakfast with Ruth and Chris W.  (Maria and Chris C, had already gone, to get there bus to London :(), we go back to our rooms, and get our bags and then wait in reception.  Ruth was the first to go and we said our goodbyes and see you at The Hub 3, and then the taxi turns up and me, my mum and Wes say goodbye to Chris W and head off to the bus station!

We get on the bus and I puts on the Torchwood soundtrack, and while listening, I began to cry, cause I missed the gang so much....

We waited in Birmingham for 2 hours and 15 minutes and then got on the bus to Cardiff and came home!

*Sorry its not much detail of the talks, I just have a fuzzy mind!

Thursday:-

I didnt sleep at all Thursday, apart from the two hours sleep I had the night before, I spent it all on the iPod Touch, my mum wakes up and I goes down stairs with my mum and speak to her about a few things and around 6am she goes back upstairs while I snuggle up and go on my iPod Touch once again.

7am came and my mum got up and we spoke and I was just so hyper and just couldnt wait to get on the bus to get there.  My dad came up to look after the dogs and we left for Northampton.  We waited at Cardiff bus station.  We finally got on the bus to Birmingham, I listen to music, and so does Wesley and my mum. 

We arrive at Birmingham and wait 2 hours for our next bus, we end up waiting an extra 25 minutes for this one person to get onto the bus, which really wound me up so much...  The person comes and we pull out of Digbeth and on the way to Northampton, we stop of at Birmingham International Airport (which is just awesome, I like seing planes taking off), then we stop of in Coentry, which looked confussing driving around, and then it was onwards to Northampton, so we call a taxi once we get there and they say 'do you know what it is?', and I said 'no, I am Welsh and from Wales' and she said 'ok someone is on there way'....  We waited 45 minutes to be picked up...  It was just madness, we get to The Park Inn hotel, and go to check in, without any problems, so we go to our room, and unpack and stuff....  In the meantime I am waiting for a phone call from a mate as we were meeting her in the bar.  We got the call, and we went down for a drink, spoke about things, and then we went to bed, ready for the next day.

Friday:-
Woke up early and headed down to breakfast, and we started speaking to another lady (sorry I cant remember your name, but I know you said you come on LJ) and then we saw Chris, we then chat over breakfast, and then we ask Chris if she would like to come to town with us, she said no, as she had a cold, so we asked we she like anything...  We headed out to town, and went into a few shops.  We got back and I got my new clothes on and desided to go downstairs and check in, thought we'll meet up with the others after.  I saw a few other people there and thought to talk to them, I was all happy and hyper and stuff.... I then look in our packs and noticed a small Weevil poster, which I squeed at... lol!  Then we head to the bar and have a few drinks, and I kept checking the time as I was meeting someone to get my money, (the less I speak about that the better as I have better things to speak about them meeting this person), I then go back to the table and have another drink, I think the plan was to get drunk before it really even started.  I cant really remember what happend after this, but I remember going into the hall for the opening ceromoney, and then the drinks respection, where my mum ended up taking Wesley back upstairs, so I stood and chatted to Rose and Alex, and then Kai came over spoke to us for about 30 seconds (maybe a bit more), and then someone else came when the gang was together (though she only spoke to half of us) and then 5/10 minutes later Gareth comes and speaks to us and someone says to him 'have you seen the house I drew Ianto and Jack on the board?' and Gareth said something and then says 'Ianto and Jack doesnt have a house!', so I said 'our imangtion tells us you do' (or something like that), 3 of gets a hug from him and then he goes....
After the party finishes, we see someone walking around holding the doctors hand in a jar which was so freaking awesome....  So a few of us took a picture of it....
Chris C, Chris W, Maria, and my mum head back to the bar, while I am else where, I cant remember where I am at this point I am somewhere which really wasnt on planet earth! lol!  So I head back to the bar and sat down with the gang and we chatted, drunk somemore and then we all ended up going to bed!

Saturday:-
*I am going to try and remember what happend this day, I cant really remember nothing at all though :(.....

We all meet each other down the breakfast room, and we had a big table to fit us all around and half way through breakfast who walks in and sits down???
Matt Rippy, I couldnt eat after seing him, I just was drinking my drink thinking 'your fit'....  and I couldnt help but look a him (if you were about inchs away from him, I think youd find it hard not to look)....  I wont tell you what he was eating as its not fair on Matt himself.

We then leave the room to go to Eve Myles, that was abit tirrifying I have to say! I cant remember what I said to her though... The the woman let me, Wes, and my mum see Kai....  Then it was time for a photo with Matt Rippy, my god I walked in there and was like 'gosh!!!' and then the camra man said 'take your ticket' and Matt said 'congratulations you won a prize!'...  I picks up my bag and waits outside for my mum and Wes to come out (though I couldve stayed in that room if it was possible), Then it was a shoot with Kai, and I left and Kai said 'was he smiling, he wasnt smiling' (about my brother), so to make my brother smile he taps him on the back without him knowing and Kai got a smile, so me and Wes, waits for our mum!  Then it was Gareth's signing and while waiting in the queue, some dude took a photo of me and I looked tirrfied lol! So as Gareth was signing my book, he took at least a muinute to do it... As he was pull poses for the camera while signing!....  Then it was a photo with Eve, again I felt nervous.  After that is was Siobhan, and then a photo with Tom Price and he said to me 'how do you want me, standing up, bent down or *somewried way*- which I cant remember)' and I said 'whatever makes you feel comfy', so I had my photo with Tom and leaves the room, and waits for Wesley and my mum to come out.  Then it was a signing with Matt Rippy and he is running out of silver sharpie ink, and says 'you dont mind if I use a different Sharpie do you?' and I looked at him and said 'no', I really wnated to say 'I dont mind, cause your just so...........' but I had to stop myself from saying it.   Then it was the photo shootwith Gareth, we go to that and then head for food after...

Sadly I dont remember nothing of the talks sorry...

After the talks, me, Ruth, Chris W, Chris C, and Maria went to find my mum and Wesley, so we could have food, and the food was really aweful, the fish cake was really tasteless and Maria found foil in her food....  We then head back into the bar, as my mum desided to leave cause she was tired, so I made the promise of coming up at 21:30 to go to bed so we can get up early.  Me, Chris W, Chris C and Maria desides to have a go on this game machine and whenever we knocked down a pin me and Chris C would go 'we done it, we done it, we got no skittles' or we done it, we done we got 9 skittles' and so on!
Who desides to be in the bar at around the time I am due to go....  Matt Rippy, so I am there trying to check him out thinking 'do I have to go up to bed', but anyways I head off upstairs with Ruth and Chris W, and end up having a shower before going to sleep, wanted to smell nice for Burn the next day!

I have been at this for most of the day, so Sunday will be posted tomorrow and then you'll find out what I mean about Sharpie, Matt and Tom :D...

So Ok, I got myself the Comic Relief single 'Islands In The Stream', and I love Wisemen, sung by Rob Brydon (Bryn West), in my opioin it is much better then James Blunts version!!  Its not as depressing :D


I've ordered the Wales V Finland ticktes!! My dad, myself, my brother, my friend (Elizabeth) and her dad is going....  So I cant wait, I have no idea where we are sitting though its Block L11.... :), I dunno the row or the seats though and looking at the map/seating plan/call it whatever you want and its by the tunnel...  If thats the case....  Then working it out, they sing the national anthems by there :D....  I so cant wait til the tickets are posted....  I need to calm down!! lol!

I love the line that Rob sings/says:-

'I got to be honest Ness, when I ask the question, where am I now and 9 times out of 10 its Barry'....   
Nessa:- 'Tidy'

Ok, sorry this is short, but I am hyper and just feeling random!

I woke up today and felt like crap, so I just layed there looking at my iPod Touch, I didnt really want to get out of bed though!

But other then feeling crap, Ive got rid of something I shouldve done long ago.  I am alot happier now without this person being a friend, as I say to myself alot 'get rid of the bad energy, replace it with good energy' (though it may sound alot of pants to you, but it seems to be working for me), I feel alot better with myself, I look in the morrior for once and dont feel as if I am ugly, I just desided to just give up trying to bring myself down, as others do it, and I know one person who is doing it, but I want to raise above that, and be happy, I havent been happy within myself since 2001 (I think), since then Ive hated myself cause of the crap that went on in my teenage life... 

I went on Guitar Hero World Tour, desided to scream 'B.Y.O.B' - System Of A Down, some advise dont, dont, DONT scream it....  I might lose my voice lol, I think my family wish I did though... lol....  But what a song to sing when your really cheesed off or just for fun....  That and Empty Walls are good anger songs to sing/scream too...  lol.

I also made up a song, called 'You Really Didnt Know Me (At All)', its based on a real experance if you want to call it that.  Its about falling out with someone and they think they know you, but really they didnt know you at all, like they think they did.  I wrote this around 23:00, Monday night, cause I had lyrics going around in my head....  Thought piece them together and thats what came up, I will post it here, when I rewrite it up from the Touch, or when I send it to my email address :).

So yeah, I'm abit bored, but will be listening to music in abit :). 

Monday night I get a lift down my dads ready for Tuesday, ahead of my trip to Birmingham.  While looking through my bag, I realized I forgot something, so I went back upto my house, rang Paul on the way, cause I was abit frightend (Ive never walked around Barry in the dark on my own),  I then manage to get the person to walk back down with me, so I said my goodbyes and went into my dads house, I went to sleep around 11ish.

I woke up at 7:30, all excited, but also feeling really sad, to the point I wanted to cry (I never ever do that when I am leaving Wales), so we catch the 9:03 bus to get into Cardiff, and we are waiting around for about 30 minutes and I got chatting to a lady about the £1 deal with National Express.  ''Have a nice jearney'' I told her with a smile, and with that, we all got on the bus, I sat at the front of the bus, and slept most of the way, until my dad woke me up ''look over there'' he said.......  and what do I see.......  VILLA F**KING PARK.....  DO I REALLY NEED TO SEE VILLA F**KING PARK???? ''thanks for that dad, I was dreaming about Blues'' I said....

We get into Digbeth, and walk to The Ibis, I payed with my card, and went to go to my room, when two girls asked could they use my card, and I just said ''No, sorry'', as nice as a person I am, I am not going to get scamed.  So we go to our room, no stairs, no lifts, and we open the door to door number 10, and we unpack, I put on my Blues shirt, and sort out a few things.  Me and my dad had a cuppa and then headed off to look for The Boardsley, which we found, thanks with the help from my trusted friend, iPod Touch :D.

We then go to Morrisions to have some food, and after that, we went to the Club shop, and I brought my dog a BCFC Dogs coller, and also got chatting to a couple about Blues.  We walk back to the Ibis and catch the end of Countdown, (its weird watching Jeff Stelling on that, cause I am so used to Soccer Saturday), and then my dad gets ready for the night out to the footie (I swear he is a girl really, cause he takes forever, I didnt say that though)....  So we head up to The Boardsley and have a drink there, and Garry (spelling) came an introduced himself, Garry, my dad and myself got chatting, and then we went into the other room, where I met Elizabeth's uncle (sorry I cant remember his name), and then about 6:30ish (though I am not 100% sure), Elizabeth and her family came, when I tried to explain to my dad, that Elizabeth was abit sad that she didnt get me and him a drink, he didnt really understand, he went ''around where?'' and I said ''A round of drinks'' (Elizabeth's dad and sister seem nice people, and it was a great plasure meeting them, though I feel awful as I didnt say ''It was nice to meet you'', the same with Garry,  I feel awful I didnt do that), anyways, back onto the topic, Elizabeth's mum left to go to the game, and me and my dad desided to go with Elizabeth, and I nearly forgot my hat, until Garry reminded me, so thank you Garry (I dunno if you'll read this).

We head off back up to St. Andrews for the footie, I buy a programme, and me and my dad take to our seats, Elizabeth spoke to us for a while, and then had to take her seat as the row she was standing in, was beginning to full up with people.  Then it was kick off, the chants were awesome, and I loved them, though if I typed them here, then I would most prob get into deep trouble, put it this way is isnt nice.  Half time, Elizabeth and her family (a few other people too), went onto the pitch to get something for the milestone birthdays, I felt so happy for Elizabeth, I just wanted to cry...  Second Half we score in the 59th minute (I think) and Lee Carsley (spelling) scored the goal.   Elizabeth explained to me (I am not sure when), that she'll be going to be getting her signed shirt.

Me and my dad left, and walked back down to The Ibis, we had a Latte and headed off to bed.


Yay, Wednesday morning, we get up and around 9ish and we walk into the City Center, its a good 20 minute walk and its a kinda lovely walk, as soon as we got in the City Center me and my dad went for breakfast.  We walked around the Bullring, and around the town center, while waiting for 11:30 to arrive, we also walked around the Bullring again.  11:30, we went to the Bull, to meet Elizabeth, we waited 10 minutes and as soon as we saw her, we headed to the rag market, and it was cloused, it was disipointing.  I said to my dad (as myself and Elizabeth were going to look around ourselfs) 'make sure you keep your phone on, you know what button to press if I call, its the green one'' and he replied with ''If you ring, will it ring'', that had me and Elizabeth lol. At 3:30 we meet up with my dad by the bull.   We got the bus and my dad got off a stop before me, I wanted to buy a few things in the Blues club shop, and I ended up spending £40.48 in there, not £48.odd that I had told others (opps), I walk back down to The Ibis, and went into the room, me and my dad got ready to have some food, and I had some chicken stuff for tea, and then we watched the football,  around 10 o'clock, a Taxi dude comes in and said 'A Taxi for room 10', the dude behind the desk had to tell him its tomorrow, at least the Taxi dude found the funny side.  After that, we then went to watch Match Of The Day, in the room, I falls asleep watching it.

Thursday morning, well early hours, I banged my head, and I went back to sleep (wrong thing to do), when I woke up about an hour later, my head was killing me :(.  We made sure we had everything, and left and I gave the woman, my key card and sat and waited for the taxi, when it came at 10 O'clock, I couldnt turn and look back towards St. Andrews, as I knew I was going to cry.  We get Digbeth Coach Station, and we wait for your coach home, as soon as we boraded it and got out of the coach station, tears came down my eyes...  I felt sadness...  I guess you do whenever you head back home.

Sorry everyone if I forgot you, sorry if I missed parts out, to the people I remembered, it was awesome metting you :).

Photos...

Around Birmingham

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At The Football

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I go to see Football on the 27th Jan, I cant wait, then I see football March 21st and then I see Wales V Finland on the 28th March, so I finally might get to see Forssell play :), but the sad thing is, he wont be playing for the team I'll be supporting :(.  So its Birmingham V Derby, Birmingham V Norwich, Wales V Finland, I am trying to see if I can see Wales V Germany (need to see if my money will alow me to do that).

My football diery then:-
Jan 27th - Birmingham V Derby
March 21st - Birmingham V Norwich
March 28th - Wales V Finland

*Hopefully*
April 1st -  Wales  V Germany...

I still feel guilty I never saw Forssell in a Birmingham shirt :(.  But hey, I might see him in the Finland shirt agaist Wales :)..... 

Enough of the rambling football subject as, I can ramble.


Birmingham in 5 days, I cant wait.  Doing a big count down at home :), lol. 

Ah the song I have on now, Ashes To Ashes, good times :D....  Reminds me off Tom H, in college.,... :)

So yeah, I am going to leave it as that as I will just ramble.

I'd have to choose Sunnydale, cause Giles, and a few nice hot lads :)

Finally, we get to play our first game of 2009, Yay...  By we I mean Birmingham City FC :), so I am abit happy.  :).  Going to Birmingham in 14 days, yay....  I cant wait, hopefully, I can take more photos of the ground without my dad haing a moan 'how many photos do you need?'..... lol..  I need alot of photos, cause.... yeah :P.....

I woke up early today, and wanted to cry, I never want to cry when I wake up normally, and I kept putting things off, cause I just didnt feel in the mood too.  :(,  I desided to come on here, to try and waste time and make it pass by.....

I watched Narnia 2 (cant think of the full name) yesterday on Box Office, and like it, but was abit dissipointed, but I wont say why as I dont want to spoil it for others.  Then I watched Dickinsons Real Deal, why I have no idea, as I dont like watching ITV as a rule. 

I fell down and hurt my knee on the floor on Friday and now my knee is in agony, damn vision loss thingys :(.  I'll stop there as it is getting me down as it is.

Well today is what I call football day, I miss football alot, summer I can deal with, but when it gets postponded, I cant deal with it, cause I love my football dearly. 

Sorry about my pointless blog....

At the moment I am in a blah mood!!

Had a letter in the post today asking me what I think about the NHS....  So now I dunno if to fill it in and be trueful (which will be really awful) or just leave it.  I want to leave it, but if I do, they wont know how I feel and stuff, so Yeah....  I dunno!

Someone has been upsetting a mate of mine, which is pissing me off to be honest, as she doesnt need the crap.  I wish I could be there for her to give her a hug, but I live to far away :(.  It drives me made when people upset my mates, no one does that.

Ooh, roleplaying is going well, though sometimes I think I make Gwen Cooper way to soft... Lol.  My food is nearly cooked soon, so yeah ''Chicken Keiv's', Yay.... :D

I am just worried about my mate, she doesnt deserve to have someone upset her the way they have done, and I really want to yell at this person, cause it isnt fair... 

So I am off to eat my dinner/tea/supper whatever you want to call it :)

I think its 18 days til Birmingham (Yep it is, just checked my mates Birthday count down)

Today has been abit hectic......

I woke up to send brother off to school, and get ready myself to go out to Penarth with my dad, I look around a few chairty shops, and we go in one and I see a perfect top to cosplay Gwen (Torchwood), to small...  So I make my way over to the other sizes and saw another, too big.  Me and my dad leaves and he goes to the head dressers while I pop to The Windsor Cafe (That was in the Torchwood episode 'From Out Of The Rain'), I order what we want, and I ring my mum to ask her opioin on the top, so I goes and gets the top.

We wait for a bus to come home, and I pop down my dads and looks at his computer, nothing wrong with it, we then go to the computer place to get inks, and they cost £31.30, I wanted to colapse.  I pop in Wilkosons, and see's them in there for £23.99, I kick myself, and really felt awful.  I bump into someoe and spoke to them for abit, and then I went into Scope, and picked up another item for cosplaying Gwen, it was a nice leather type jacket for £3.60, so I thought that was a bargin :).

I walks home, and then I had an aguement with my mum :(. 

I sorted out papers and stuff and went to shred them in the paper shredder and got my sleeve in cought up and it was the most terrifying thing EVER....  It also took my friendship band,  so it mustve been so close to my skin.  My jacket looks funny though, and I think its awesome, lol.  But shreeder is evil....  I dont want to go near it... Thinking about it....  :'(.... 

I then had my step nan pop up, that was evil, cause she went all werid...  I then came on line...

I think thats it....  I think I will shut up now... :P

I am here thinking about things, some are happy, some are sad, but they are mainly happy.

You know, I am trying to not think of what the past has done to me, but it is very hard...  How can you let go if you cant forgive the person?  I dont hate this person for what he did, but I dont forgive him, maybe forgiving him, will make me let go completely?  I dunno!

I still have abit of a cold, but I am hopefully getting over the worst now :). 

I also managed to fix my phone, Yay.....  Which I am maojrly happy about..